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What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

12.06.2025 01:13

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Do you like wearing short skirts?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Can a Trump supporter explain what was wrong with what Bishop Budde said to Donald Trump?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why are white women dating more black guys than ever?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How can I get over a break up?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …